Weaving Stability

I feel I owe an explanation for what’s coming. Today is not so much about weaving as it is life in general.

I’m a worrier. My doctor calls it anxiety. My friend who is a counselor says it is a genetic condition. My sisters say it’s normal life. (Which actually reinforces the genetic theory….) Lately, I’ve been worrying a lot – to the point of losing sleep. I’ve had several health issues which bloomed out of the blue: corneal erosion, poor liver function, high blood sugars, positive TB screening tests, genetic iron disease, and most recently, abnormal findings on my retina/macula. On top of all that – I’ve actually been sick. (Pneumonia 6 months ago, upper respiratory that threatened repeat pneumonia again.)

In midst of all this, hubby moved his dad out of our care (he lived with us) into the VA nursing home. This was a very difficult decision for us to make. No matter what decision is made, guilt tries to color it as a bad choice. Dementia is terribly sad, from any angle.

So last night I tried another couple drastic maneuvers to see if I could make Blackwater Project work as slinky weaving. I spent another hour and I found that I was able to get the time per pick down to about 15 minutes. (Like that’s good?!?!?) But more importantly, I found I wasn’t getting any stability to the basic cloth at all. Is there a way I can make it stable? Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m not going to try anymore. I cut off the knots that tied all the beautiful bamboo warp, pulled it out and removed the slinky. The basic black warp remains. It looks very naked now. Normal. Comfortable, inviting.

I threw a few picks and the shuttle flew through so quickly that I missed it and had to pick it up off the floor. Within minutes, I had enough woven to know that although not a dense fabric, it is stable. I need that stability right now. My need may be emotional, but the Blackwater Project can provide that for me. Even without a slinky.

Oh, by the way, I slept GREAT last night.